My aunt moved in with my family when my uncle died. We thought we were helping her, but really, she helped us.

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The author's family.
The author, third from left, says that when her aunt, fourth from left, moved in, it was good for the whole family.

Courtesy of Christina Daves

  • My grieving aunt moved in with us after my uncle died, and we thought we were helping her heal.
  • Instead, she became the loving, steady presence who held our young family together.
  • Looking back, her influence didn't just comfort us — it shaped who we are today.

When my uncle died suddenly after 35 years of marriage, the loss was earth-shattering. My aunt and uncle had one of those rare, lifelong love stories: they met, fell in love instantly, and were engaged within six weeks. They created a life together in the Seattle area and eventually built their dream home in the foothills of Mt. Rainer. And then, without warning, he was gone.

My aunt was devastated. The life she had built — her routines, her community, even the view from her kitchen window — became unbearable reminders of what she'd lost. At the time, I was in the thick of motherhood with a 4-month-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. My husband and I were doing our best, but we were exhausted and overwhelmed, trying to build our careers while keeping our heads above water.

So when my aunt told us she was selling the house and needed to leave Washington, we didn't hesitate. "Come stay with us," we said. "For as long as you need."

The author's aunt with one of her kids.
The author's aunt enjoyed playing with her niece and nephew while living with them.

Courtesy of Christina Daves

Her arrival changed our home in ways we never expected

We thought we were helping her. We thought our home would be a loving place for her to begin healing. Instead, her arrival changed the entire fabric of our family.

She moved in with her suitcases, her broken heart, and her natural instinct to nurture. My aunt was always the "fun one" in our family — the loudest laugh, the best storyteller, the one who finds joy in everything she does. But she also had decades of experience running a daycare out of her home, a gift I hadn't fully appreciated until she stepped into our daily life.

Very quickly, she became more than just a guest. We hired her as our live-in nanny, and it felt like the most natural decision in the world. Each morning, I went to work knowing my kids were in the care of someone who adored them — and whom they adored right back.

The author's aunt with her son.
They hired her to be their live-in nanny, and the arrangement worked well for everyone.

Courtesy of Christina Daves

She cared for our kids and supported me in ways I didn't expect

She didn't just fill the hours. She filled their hearts.

She got down on the floor and played. She taught them silly songs, built elaborate blanket forts, and read their favorite books with the kind of dramatic flair that made every page come alive. She gave them her full attention — something that felt impossible for me when I was juggling work deadlines, sleepless nights, and mountains of dirty clothes. And she supported me in quieter ways too, the kinds of gestures I didn't even realize I needed. I'd walk into the laundry room and find fresh, neatly folded stacks waiting for me.

She had a term for it from her childhood in Germany. "Einselmenchen," she'd say with a smile, explaining that her grandmother used it to describe the little fairies who slipped in to do something kind when you weren't looking. That was exactly what she became for our family: the gentle magic behind the scenes, making life a little easier without ever asking for credit.

The author and her aunt.
The author and her aunt remain close, though they no longer live together.

Courtesy of Christina Daves

She said my kids saved her — but looking back, she saved us too

She said my kids saved her. In many ways, that was true. They gave her purpose during the darkest chapter of her life. They gave her routine, connection, and moments of pure, uncomplicated love.

But the older I get, the more clearly I see the reverse: she saved us, too.

Her presence brought a calm we didn't realize we were missing. Her wisdom helped me through the early years of parenting. Her laughter filled our house when we desperately needed lightness. And her relationship with my children — deep, tender, and rooted in unconditional love — helped shape who they are today.

Her time with us reshaped our family long after she moved out

She left our home after two years, once she felt strong enough to start her next chapter. But the imprint she left on us never faded.

We thought we were opening our door to help her heal. What we didn't expect was that she'd be the one who made us stronger.

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