{"id":41863,"date":"2025-12-28T23:02:29","date_gmt":"2025-12-28T23:02:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/usa\/my-grandmother-wrote-me-a-letter-before-my-wedding-her-marriage-advice-insulted-me-at-first-but-now-i-get-it\/"},"modified":"2025-12-28T23:02:29","modified_gmt":"2025-12-28T23:02:29","slug":"my-grandmother-wrote-me-a-letter-before-my-wedding-her-marriage-advice-insulted-me-at-first-but-now-i-get-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/usa\/my-grandmother-wrote-me-a-letter-before-my-wedding-her-marriage-advice-insulted-me-at-first-but-now-i-get-it\/","title":{"rendered":"My grandmother wrote me a letter before my wedding. Her marriage advice insulted me at first, but now I get it."},"content":{"rendered":"<figure><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.insider.com\/692e01b871107c9f34571e7a?format=jpeg\" alt=\"Groom raised up the bride in the passionate dance. Woman smiles pleasantly and kisses her husband. Plenty of guests are on the background\"\/><figcaption>\n<p>Victor Dyomin\/Getty Images<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<ul>\n<li>I married my husband, Scott, back in April of 2025.<\/li>\n<li>My grandmother wrote a letter with controversial advice before the big day.<\/li>\n<li>She warned me that married life isn&#039;t all &quot;plain sailing.&quot;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I married my husband, Scott, in April 2025 after four years of dating.<\/p>\n<p>Nobody was more excited for the wedding than our families. They rallied around us, sharing tips and calming me down when the planning became stressful.<\/p>\n<p>My sister made a scrapbook for me to open the night before the nuptials. Inside, there were handwritten letters from my bridesmaids, my mom, and my 79-year-old grandmother.<\/p>\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.insider.com\/69331faa71107c9f34576f86?format=jpeg\" alt=\"Wedding photo\"\/><figcaption>The author on her wedding day.<\/p>\n<p>Courtesy of the author<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>The letters were sweet, romantic, and optimistic \u2014 well, almost all of them were. My grandmother&#039;s letter had an ominous tone.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;I wish you and Scott all the happiness in the world in your married life. I am sure you two are just right for each other. That&#039;s not to say it will all be plain sailing,&quot; she wrote.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;There may be bumps along the road,&quot; she added, &quot;but love has a way of forgiving a multitude of sins.&quot;<\/p>\n<h2><strong>I was alarmed by my grandmother&#039;s note<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>It was a huge contrast to the other letters in the scrapbook. While my bridesmaids reminisced about the past and shared excitement for my future, my grandma&#039;s words stopped me in my tracks.<\/p>\n<p>I remember laughing and shaking my head in disbelief. I then handed the letter to my mom, who was equally unimpressed.<\/p>\n<p>It&#039;s not that I didn&#039;t appreciate the advice. But really, who wants to hear the words &quot;love&quot; and &quot;sins&quot; mentioned in the same sentence? Especially when it&#039;s in relation to your own husband.<\/p>\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.insider.com\/693321397ecd1d1da663073c?format=jpeg\" alt=\"Couple selfie wedding day\"\/><figcaption>The author was taken aback by her grandmother&#039;s letter at first.<\/p>\n<p>Courtesy of the author<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>For a brief moment, I contemplated what she meant by the word &quot;sins.&quot; Cheating? Lying? Or something else?<\/p>\n<p>My gran has a fantastic relationship with my husband, so I couldn&#039;t imagine what sparked her cautionary words. Similarly, I had never spoken a bad word about Scott to my grandmother.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, like any couple, we&#039;d had fights, but it was never anything relationship-threatening. And I had never spoken about it with my her.<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, I disregarded the note, just as you would ignore a speck of dirt on a white wedding dress. Even if nobody else notices it, <em>you<\/em> know it&#039;s there.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Five months later, I learned a major lesson<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>The wedding day was picture-perfect.<\/p>\n<p>I felt so fortunate that we got to celebrate with our loved ones, especially our grandmothers. Both Scott and I were the first grandchildren in our families to get married, so it felt extra special.<\/p>\n<p>Five months later, I found my grandma&#039;s letter while looking through the scrapbook. It looked different to me with fresh eyes. Now that some time had passed, I could look at it from a new perspective. I could read without taking it personally.<\/p>\n<p>I thought about my grandmother&#039;s life, and I realized that her words were never about my husband and me.<\/p>\n<p>My gran married my late grandfather when they were just teenagers, and it&#039;s fair to say they had many bumps in their own love story. Let&#039;s just say, their relationship wasn&#039;t like the kind I grew up watching in romantic comedies and Disney films.<\/p>\n<p>However, they loved each other deeply. They were loyal, forgiving, and supported each other throughout their more than 50-year marriage.<\/p>\n<h2>Staying in love is a choice<\/h2>\n<p>Thinking about their relationship reminded me that falling in love is a feeling, but staying in love is a choice. It&#039;s an action. It&#039;s not something that just happens to a person.<\/p>\n<p>The wedding is the beautiful part, but the marriage? That&#039;s where things have the potential to get messy.<\/p>\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.insider.com\/6933212404d0f0a114f181d3?format=jpeg\" alt=\"Granddaughter posing for photo with grandma\"\/><figcaption>The author now understands where her grandmother was coming from.<\/p>\n<p>Courtesy of the author<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>I&#039;ve been married for less than a year, so I&#039;m not pretending to know all the answers. But if I&#039;m honest with myself, I can admit that my grandma&#039;s letter shook me because it didn&#039;t fit the aesthetic Instagram version of what I thought marriage was supposed to be.<\/p>\n<p>I know that my husband and I have a great deal of joy ahead of us. But we&#039;re also going to witness one another&#039;s pain, grief, disappointment, and growth. That&#039;s just a part of sharing your life with someone.<\/p>\n<p>If I ever catch myself feeling unprepared, I know I can revisit my grandma&#039;s letter.<\/p>\n<p>Read the original article on Business Insider<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Victor Dyomin\/Getty Images I married my husband, Scott, back in April of 2025. My grandmother wrote a letter with controversial advice before the big day. She warned me that married life isn&#039;t all &quot;plain sailing.&quot; I married my husband, Scott, in April 2025 after four years of dating. Nobody was more excited for the wedding [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":41864,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-41863","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-usa"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41863","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41863"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41863\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/41864"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41863"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41863"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41863"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}