{"id":49597,"date":"2026-04-26T03:31:34","date_gmt":"2026-04-26T03:31:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/usa\/i-went-bathing-suit-shopping-with-my-18-month-old-daughter-i-realized-i-shouldnt-talk-negatively-about-my-body-around-her\/"},"modified":"2026-04-26T03:31:34","modified_gmt":"2026-04-26T03:31:34","slug":"i-went-bathing-suit-shopping-with-my-18-month-old-daughter-i-realized-i-shouldnt-talk-negatively-about-my-body-around-her","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/usa\/i-went-bathing-suit-shopping-with-my-18-month-old-daughter-i-realized-i-shouldnt-talk-negatively-about-my-body-around-her\/","title":{"rendered":"I went bathing suit shopping with my 18-month-old daughter. I realized I shouldn&#8217;t talk negatively about my body around her."},"content":{"rendered":"<figure><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.insider.com\/69d7b048f976785dcb18fc7f?format=jpeg\" alt=\"mom and daughter in pool\"\/><figcaption>The author realized her daughter was listening when she criticized her body in a changing room.<\/p>\n<p>Courtesy of the author<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<ul>\n<li>I caught myself criticizing my body in front of my 18-month-old daughter. <\/li>\n<li>Seeing her watch me made me rethink how I speak to myself<\/li>\n<li>I now try to model self-acceptance, so she learns to do the same<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>A spring doesn&#039;t go by that I don&#039;t think about a pivotal moment I had in a Macy&#039;s dressing room. <\/p>\n<p>I&#039;d ventured to the mall with my then 18-month-old daughter, desperate for a new swimsuit before pool season began. I maneuvered the stroller, piled high with promise, into the family dressing stall, my daughter&#039;s little head peeking out from a sea of nylon and hangers.<\/p>\n<p>The fluorescents were predictably stark as I began to disrobe and jimmy myself into the first option. Looking up at my reflection, I visibly shuddered at what I saw staring back \u2014 an involuntary reflex, followed by an audible groan.<\/p>\n<p>Then the negative self-talk started.<\/p>\n<h2>My daughter was watching me<\/h2>\n<p><em>Oh. My. God. Look at that cellulite! Are you kidding me?? I do CrossFit, for God&#039;s sake. That is just not OK.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Shock, then disgust, gave way to a cacophony of muttered insults and curses. I&#039;d transformed into a lunchroom mean girl, hurling insults at that horrible excuse for a human being in the mirror.<\/p>\n<p><em>You should not be wearing a bathing suit AT ALL. Those legs. How can you show those legs?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Just then, my eye drifted beyond the horror show unfolding in front of me. I caught my little girl&#039;s eye in the mirror and realized she was watching me. Taking me in. Taking all of this in.<\/p>\n<p><em>Oh, no<\/em>, I thought. <em>I&#039;m saying these things out loud.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>It was under my breath, yes, but loud enough to be heard. And even if I wasn&#039;t, I knew my body language was speaking volumes. Self-loathing. Shame. And there&#039;s my beautiful, blank-slate angel, drinking in every moment.<\/p>\n<h2>I wasn&#039;t being kind to myself<\/h2>\n<p>I suddenly surged with anger. This was not what I wanted to model for my daughter.<\/p>\n<p>As a feminist, I&#039;d always believed I had a responsibility to be kind, generous, and encouraging to other women. Yet there I was, treating myself worse than I&#039;d treat any stranger on the street.<\/p>\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.insider.com\/69d7bf1305c9b303c4e76910?format=jpeg\" alt=\"Woman looking in the mirror\"\/><figcaption>The author changed how she talks to herself.<\/p>\n<p>Courtesy of the author<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>I wouldn&#039;t perpetuate this. If my child hadn&#039;t been there in the room with me, I might have missed the moment entirely \u2014 because until then, I hadn&#039;t even been aware of this toxic inner dialogue.<\/p>\n<p>I wanted so much more for my baby girl, who would one day stand in front of a mirror as she shopped. I wanted her to feel proud of what she saw, not become her own worst enemy, measuring herself against an impossible beauty standard that doesn&#039;t even exist in real life. She did not deserve to learn this kind of shame.<\/p>\n<p>At that moment, I decided to consciously press &quot;pause&quot; on my thoughts and think this through. I began coaching myself up.<\/p>\n<h2>I changed the tone<\/h2>\n<p>I imagined someone else, someone stronger and bolder and more evolved than me, standing there. I imagined this woman&#039;s self-acceptance, self-approval, self-love, as she gazed back at herself with pride.<\/p>\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.insider.com\/69d7c6d696ef6a4c9d121429?format=jpeg\" alt=\"Woman posing for photo\"\/><figcaption>\n<p>Courtesy of the author<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&quot;Damn, I look good!&quot; I said to myself. The voice was quiet. I wasn&#039;t quite sure I believed it, but I continued. &quot;I&#039;m burning up the place!&quot; I whispered, this time with more conviction.<\/p>\n<p>Right there, standing in that small, windowless room in a leopard-print bathing suit, I practiced seeing myself with new eyes. I intentionally reprogrammed my negative self-talk. I befriended myself.<\/p>\n<p>A smile started to curve at the edges of my lips as I continued gazing in the mirror, if not in full belief, then at least with amusement. This was kind of fun. I could do this.<\/p>\n<p>And then something strange happened. Suddenly, I wasn&#039;t totally hating what I saw in the mirror. It wasn&#039;t perfect, but it wasn&#039;t too bad either.<\/p>\n<p>I imagined I was a good friend trying on this bathing suit. How would I react to her? I wouldn&#039;t focus on any one aspect of her body, I&#039;d take in the whole package. I&#039;d admire her sense of style. I&#039;d notice if the color was eye-catching. I&#039;d make sure it was a good fit.<\/p>\n<h2>I actually liked what I saw<\/h2>\n<p>So, I stopped zeroing in on the jiggly skin and dimples, and finally saw the full me: shiny dark hair, wise golden eyes, a sturdy frame housed in a spunky, modestly sexy one-piece. I stopped obsessing over all the things I disliked and allowed myself to see the big picture.<\/p>\n<p>Just then, I caught my daughter&#039;s eye in the mirror again. She was still watching me. She beamed at me proudly.<\/p>\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.insider.com\/69d7c73f05c9b303c4e7696b?format=jpeg\" alt=\"Woman and girl by pool\"\/><figcaption>The author doesn&#039;t want to bully herself in front of her daughter again.<\/p>\n<p>Courtesy of the author<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>From that day forward, I pledged never again to bully myself in front of my daughter.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#039;t always get it right on the first try. I could have a wonderful time out with my family, only to later scroll through the photos on my phone and feel that familiar gut-punch when I spot an unflattering shot. The difference is, I notice it now. And as soon as I do, I deliberately choose to redirect it. I challenge myself to find three nice things to say. Kind things. True things. Things I would say to a friend.<\/p>\n<p>Because the way I speak to myself will one day become the voice my daughter hears in her own head. And I want that voice to be as strong and empowered as the woman I see in the mirror now.<\/p>\n<p>Read the original article on Business Insider<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The author realized her daughter was listening when she criticized her body in a changing room. Courtesy of the author I caught myself criticizing my body in front of my 18-month-old daughter. Seeing her watch me made me rethink how I speak to myself I now try to model self-acceptance, so she learns to do [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-49597","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-usa"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49597","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=49597"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49597\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=49597"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=49597"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=49597"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}