{"id":50714,"date":"2026-05-19T02:31:11","date_gmt":"2026-05-19T02:31:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/usa\/my-kids-dont-need-another-coach-yelling-from-the-bleachers-im-choosing-to-focus-on-their-love-of-the-game-instead\/"},"modified":"2026-05-19T02:31:11","modified_gmt":"2026-05-19T02:31:11","slug":"my-kids-dont-need-another-coach-yelling-from-the-bleachers-im-choosing-to-focus-on-their-love-of-the-game-instead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/usa\/my-kids-dont-need-another-coach-yelling-from-the-bleachers-im-choosing-to-focus-on-their-love-of-the-game-instead\/","title":{"rendered":"My kids don&#8217;t need another coach yelling from the bleachers. I&#8217;m choosing to focus on their love of the game instead."},"content":{"rendered":"<figure><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.insider.com\/6a0b6d10ecd7cc1332bb0d8f?format=jpeg\" alt=\"The author is sitting in the bleachers at a youth sports event.\"\/><figcaption>The author said she wants her kids to truly enjoy the sports they play and is trying to put less focus on winning or losing.<\/p>\n<p>Courtesy of Isobella Jade.<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<ul>\n<li>I grew up running and enjoyed what I learned from excelling at a sport, even when I lost. <\/li>\n<li>Today, it seems that the main focus for the sports my kids participate in is winning.<\/li>\n<li>I&#039;m shifting my focus to help my kids appreciate the love of the game, not just when they win. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I&#039;m the kind of mom who wears an outfit themed in the color of my kids&#039; uniform on game days, and I&#039;m always saying things from the sidelines like &quot;you got this,&quot; and&quot; and &quot;keep it up!&quot;<\/p>\n<p>For more than 10 years, I&#039;ve been a sports mom attending basketball, volleyball, and soccer games almost weekly to cheer on my kids. Since they were toddlers, I&#039;ve been all in, putting in thousands of miles, hours, and dollars to support them.<\/p>\n<p>Through it all, there&#039;s just one thing that irritates me: the collective obsession over competitiveness and how it ruins the joy of the game.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Things have gotten out of hand<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>I was a competitive runner in high school, earning a college scholarship for my efforts. I understand the dedication it takes to thrive and the thrill of accomplishing a goal. <br \/>While devoting so much of my life to running, I learned to accept myself with kindness after a bad race. I didn&#039;t let a single race define all my effort and potential. I learned that the whole experience matters. I truly loved being a runner, rain or shine, putting one foot in front of the other on the track and cross-country trails, and I chose to do it just for me. Winning was nice, but for me, it wasn&#039;t everything. I loved the action of it, being in the moment, I felt happy while running, most of all.<\/p>\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.insider.com\/6a0b6e4b94eb4c909fb2da1e?format=jpeg\" alt=\"The author&#039;s son plays soccer.\"\/><figcaption>The author said that she has noticed the sidelines at her children&#039;s games and practices are lined with people yelling more than ever \u2014 and not always for the right reasons.<\/p>\n<p>Courtesy of Isobella Jade.<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Now that my own kids are 11 and 13 it seems like the fields, courts, and arenas they play in get louder as the years go by. Unfortunately, they&#039;re not always filled with the positive energy that pushed me when I was their age. Over the years, I&#039;ve heard parents and spectators yell aggressively at kids while they are playing, and I&#039;ve seen parents fighting with other parents during games. Then there are the coaches that I&#039;ve seen scream wildly with unkind words during and after games, even with elementary-age kids.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#039;t help but think that playing a sport and being on a team shouldn&#039;t be so intense or stressful for kids, but it seems that way more often than not, no matter what sport my kids are participating in.<\/p>\n<p>It makes my heart ache, and it makes me wonder, where did the love of the game go?<\/p>\n<h2><strong>I&#039;m trying to shift the focus for my kids<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>In recent years, I&#039;ve put in an extra effort to become a more laid-back sports mom. Instead of getting all hyped up over goals and winning, I want my kids to focus on loving what they&#039;re doing while they&#039;re on the field or court.<\/p>\n<p>I often look at my kids&#039; trophies and medals on the walls of their rooms and all the jerseys they&#039;ve worn. As much as winning feels wonderful to watch, I refuse to let my kids&#039; favorite sports become only about this one ultimate thing.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Some games will be better than others, no one is 100% all the time,&quot; I often tell my kids. I want them to know that playing for the love of the game means caring about the act of playing a sport for the pure joy of it, for the love of the experience. It&#039;s a feeling of happiness while showing effort, passion, and dedication, not to mention the willingness to overcome obstacles and learning to have a positive attitude. I need my kids to know that the trophies and awards aren&#039;t everything.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>I&#039;m seeing a difference in my children<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Playing a sport should increase your joy, boost your mood, and teach you about teamwork. Once that happens, I believe, other opportunities and successes will follow naturally.<\/p>\n<p>In a culture of hypercompetitiveness, I&#039;m not falling for the pressure to succeed, comparisons, and tears. When I watch my kids give their all, I mostly care about them making positive memories, and I hope this time in their lives will be something good to look back on, not bring flashbacks of distress based on what the score was years ago.<\/p>\n<p>This year, when my daughter was deciding what sport to focus on, I told her to imagine if the team lost, if the team wasn&#039;t as strong, if she wasn&#039;t a top player, what sport or activity would she choose to do for the fun and enjoyment of it? She chose volleyball.<\/p>\n<figure><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.insider.com\/6a0b6deb94eb4c909fb2da1a?format=jpeg\" alt=\"The author poses with her daughter while enjoying ice cream after a game.\"\/><figcaption>After a game, the author said she doesn&#039;t dwell on her child&#039;s performance. Instead, she might ask where they should go out to eat.<\/p>\n<p>Courtesy of Isobella Jade.<\/p>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Now, at my kids&#039; games, keeping the love of the game alive means letting whatever happened during the game stay there, especially when it was a loss. After games, I always keep our walk to the car upbeat. I don&#039;t bring up every little detail of my kid&#039;s performance. I&#039;ll ask them how they feel first, and I&#039;ll tell them I enjoyed watching them play, and share a compliment or two. Depending on the outcome of the game, I might simply say &quot;I&#039;m proud of you. Next week will be better,&quot; or &quot;You did great. I&#039;m so happy for you,&quot; then we pivot to what they want to eat. We carry on to the next day, the next practice, and the next game.<\/p>\n<p>Read the original article on Business Insider<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The author said she wants her kids to truly enjoy the sports they play and is trying to put less focus on winning or losing. Courtesy of Isobella Jade. I grew up running and enjoyed what I learned from excelling at a sport, even when I lost. Today, it seems that the main focus for [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":50715,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-50714","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-usa"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50714","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50714"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50714\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/50715"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=50714"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=50714"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agooka.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=50714"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}